Are You on the Fence about Your Child Starting Kindergarten? Trust Your Hunch, Mama

After the fourth of July, Walmart, Target, and Sam’s Club start putting away swimming suits and sunscreen aisles to make room for massive displays of discounted glue sticks, crayons, and spiral notebooks. It’s hard to run inside for a quick gallon of milk without seeing the display of local school supply lists as soon as you enter the stores. 

Our family is entering a new season of schooling, the middle years as I like to refer to it, where all four of our kids are going to school with me: kindergarten, second, fifth, and seventh grades. As our youngest son launches into kindergarten, I can’t help, but to think about the decisions leading up to sending the older three kids to kindergarten.

With our oldest daughter, she has a late August birthday. In our area of the country, children have to turn 5 before August 1st  in order to be eligible to attend public school kindergarten. So, she attended two years of preschool before we sent her to kindergarten right before her 6th birthday. She loved both of her preschool teachers, so this was a great experience for her.

When it was time for our second daughter to make plans to attend kindergarten, we knew that she was eager to be wherever her sister was, so without any hesitation, we sent her to kindergarten at 5, after her April birthday. We were afraid that if she had another year in preschool she might become bored. (She’s also the child who used to curl up next to me and listen to Lucy Calkins teaching writing strategies for fun.) It turns out our hunch was correct-she was fully ready for kindergarten and soaked up teaching points beautifully. 

At the time we were launching our second daughter into kindergarten, I remember some of our friends making a decision to give their kids an extra year of preschool before kindergarten, but I didn’t quite understand their decision. However, the longer that I am a parent, the more my perspective has changed on MANY things, including the need to be flexible when making decisions about what’s best for your kids as individuals. Although we want each of our children to be treated fairly, I am learning that this doesn’t mean we should automatically make the same decisions for each child.  

When it came time for our oldest son to go to kindergarten, I will never forget when my husband wondered aloud if we should give him an extra year of preschool before starting kindergarten? Being the Type A planner that I am, I immediately dismissed the idea, because there was an approximately two year age gap between each of the kids, and I planned on the kids each being two grades apart from one of their siblings. I wondered why should “my” plan for his schooling sequence change? (Yikes! As I type this, I realize how much my thinking has changed over the last few years. Thank you, Lord!)

When I mentioned my husband’s comment to my best friend, who is also an early childhood expert, I fully expected her to agree with my viewpoint, because 9 times out of 10, we see educational decisions from the same perspective. She shocked me when she agreed with my husband. Her next words are etched in my mind, “You will never regret gaining an extra year at home with your child. However, you may regret launching them too soon.” 

This might seem like a simple solution that wouldn’t require a second thought, however it took me that school year from October to May to fully support the decision to wait to send our son to kindergarten until after he turned 6. Looking back, I am not sure why I wrestled so much with the decision, but it took us a while to fully settle on our answer.

It turns out my husband and best friend were right. Our son was definitely bright enough to send to kindergarten at 5, but when I think about how he has flourished socially, emotionally, and physically, I couldn’t be more thankful we gave him the gift of time.

Some of the benefits we have noticed first hand for waiting until 6 to send our boys to kindergarten include: 

• Stronger sense of self
• Able to stand up to peer pressure more easily
• Stronger emotional regulation
• Longer attention span
• Stronger fine motor skills for handwriting 

Through these experiences of launching our four kids into kindergarten, I learned that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Some kids are fully ready to launch into kindergarten at 5 and some flourish with an extra year before they start kindergarten. It doesn’t mean one philosophy is better than the other. It just means God remarkably and wonderfully made each of our kids and we have to reflect on what works best for their individual temperaments and development to determine which choice is best.

Thankfully, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us into the right choices for each of our children In James 1:5 ESV, we can count on this truth:  “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” After all, the children God has given us are ultimately His, and He has beautiful plans in store for each one.

Mama, as the days on the calendar continue to fly by as we reach closer to August, I want to encourage you to trust your hunch.  

 I know sometimes analysis paralysis takes over, and we become fearful of making “the wrong” decision when it comes to our kids. However, if we have taken the time to analyze the pros and cons, asked the Lord for wisdom, and think the situation through with trusted friends and family members, then we can trust our descision for when to launch our sweet child into kindergarten.  

Whether we launch our kids into kindergarten at 5 or 6, we will be thankful that we trusted our hunch as we watch them flourish.