Embracing the Middle Years

I don’t know what it is about summer that makes me realize how much our kids have grown? Maybe it’s the changing out of clothing sizes, the additional gallon of milk we need to purchase each week on the Walmart order, or the different rhythms of activities that summer brings? Maybe I have more capacity to reflect on these changes when the school year comes to a close? 

Recently I was listening to a podcast about crafting family cultures, and the host shared this would be a great episode for parents who have young children. Instantly, my ears perked up, and I thought, “This will be great! I am always up for learning new strategies as our children mature.” 

Then as I heard the guest introduce herself and how her children were all toddler and preschool age, it dawned on me: I don’t have young children anymore. For the first time in almost 13 years, all four of our kids are school aged. We transitioned out of the “littles” phase that defined our lives for over a decade. If you visited with my husband about this, he would tell you how excited he is that we are out of the daycare cost phase. Perhaps we all celebrate this growing season in a slightly different way. 🙂

This realization of being “in the middles phase” took me back for a moment. Because in all honesty, I loved the baby years. I felt most confident as a Mama when we were in the baby years. I. absolutely. loved. the. baby. phase! 

I loved:

• swaddling our babies and rocking them to sleep. 
• singing to them and teaching them their first words. 
• figuring out a schedule and finding daily rhythms that worked with our family as a whole. 
• how their biggest problems were waiting patiently for the next Doc. McStuffins episode to record on the DVR or if we would be able to find dino nuggets at Aldi? 

But as I consider this new phase of the “middle years,” I am learning there are beautiful, new parts of this season, too.

With this new season of the “middle years,” we made the decision to send the boys to summer school, so that I could soak up some extra time during the day with the girls. For many years, the girls patiently embraced activities their younger brothers enjoyed even if they felt slightly too old for it. Our summer rhythms were guided by what the boys could handle based on their ages, and we couldn’t often do things just for the girls. Sometimes this also meant that the boys had to work extra hard to be patient while we did something they weren’t quite big enough to do.

In a family of six, there has to be give and take, and for the most part, I think this compromise strengthens our families. However, it is really refreshing to be able to split my time with between the boys and girls, so they all can experience things that are just right fits for their current season of life.

This season allowed me to go on two field trips with the boys and give them my full focus. I loved getting to experience a local farm with Kaden and Ethan!

This new season, allowed me to shop with Ethan to pick out his May Day suit and enjoy how much he loved his new shiny shoes. Doesn’t he have the best grin?!

This new phase has allowed the girls and I to make two quick trips to Bolivar to see some of our dearest friends. Our first stop on our road trip was to celebrate our dear friend Christine’s marriage. In other seasons, I wouldn’t have been able to leave the boys for a few days. If we would have taken them, they would have been good sports about it, but they wouldn’t have enjoyed the wedding shower like the girls and I did. I’m so thankful the girls and I could experience this together!

The second stop on our road trip was to spend time with the Papenfuhs girls. These sisters are the same ages as our girls and have been friends since Mackenzie and Lexi were in kindergarten. Juliana and Ally and Lyndsay and I couldn’t help, but become dear friends, too. One of my favorite things about this family is that no matter how long it’s been since the girls talked on Messenger or saw each other face to face, they pick up right where they left off last time. The amounts of giggles, genuine joy, and simple fun they have together are connections that don’t happen everyday. 

When we moved last year, the transition was the hardest for our girls. They made many friends, were fully invested in our school system, and loved their cheer teams. Living in Bolivar was all they had known. Although we see evidence of beautiful growth this year for both girls with their new lives in Sullivan, part of their hearts will always be in Bolivar. I feel like we are seeing our “littles” phase end very similar to our time in Bolivar ending.

Instead of feeling sad that the Dace family has grown out of the “little kids” phase, I am  looking forward to other beautiful transitions and new experiences that I don’t even know to expect. 

• I didn’t know how much I would enjoy picking up the boys from summer school and hearing about their days. 
• I also didn’t realize how much I would love taking the girls on road trips while connecting with them on a different level than we do on a daily basis. 

Launching into a new season of life has taught me to look forward in anticipation for the ways we will connect with our kids on deeper levels as their brains and souls mature.

Friend, no matter which phase we find ourselves in, let’s ask the Lord to give us eyes to see the growth blooming along the journey. If the next decade passes as fast as the previous one, I want to give ourselves the gift of margin to treasure these memories close in our hearts. 

I am curious to hear from you: what’s your favorite part about the current phase of life you are experiencing?

*Side to Mamas still in the “littles” phase, if you ever need anyone to come swaddle and snuggle your babies, I’m your girl!